Matthew Duss at The American Prospect has created a play entitled The Legend of Straighttalk McSurge illustrating the wisdom of John McCain with respect to the Iraq War:
EXT. George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, and John McCain stand around a broken down car with smoke billowing from under the hood on Highway 40 near Dinosaur, Colorado. Cheney sneers into the distance. Rumsfeld is stabbing at the car with his finger. Bush reads a comic book.
MCCAIN: Gentlemen, this car has broken down. In order to achieve our goal of getting to Boston, the car will need a new engine. Also, we’ll need to lose some dead weight. Rumsfeld, looks like you’re walking.
RUMSFELD: What?
MCCAIN: Listen, I know we all agreed that the best way to get from DC to Boston was over the Rocky Mountains, but the fact is you were doing the driving, and I criticized you for it. You all heard me.
RUMSFELD: That’s bogus, man.
CHENEY: You’d better not write a freaking book, Don.
BUSH: Heh, how does Iron Man go to the bathroom?
(Rumsfeld shrugs and walks a few steps to a waiting corporate limo, which whisks him away.)
MCCAIN: Here come some mechanics to put a new engine in the car.
(Later)
MCCAIN: There, the car has a new engine. Gentlemen, the strategy has succeeded!
MEDIA: (rolling up in a VW bus): But the new engine was only part of the plan. You’re nowhere near Boston. In fact, the car seems to be rolling in the opposite direction …
CHENEY: Why do you hate this car so much, Saddamalqaeda?
MEDIA: What? But–
MCCAIN: I repeat, the installation of the new engine was successful. And I supported it. You all heard me. Make me your leader.
MEDIA: Well, it is true, he did support putting a new engine in. And the straightness of his talk is straight, indeed. You know, if you squint your eyes and tilt your head just so, these barren foothills do start to look kind of like Boston.
MCCAIN: Right! Now who wants to watch a game with me at Fenway Canyon?
fin
–Matthew Duss
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