To balance out the serious discussion of the soul, I figured I’d link to a study on more temporal matters:
Nice guys really do finish last.
NICE guys knew it, now two studies have confirmed it: bad boys get the most girls. The finding may help explain why a nasty suite of antisocial personality traits known as the “dark triad” persists in the human population, despite their potentially grave cultural costs.
The traits are the self-obsession of narcissism; the impulsive, thrill-seeking and callous behaviour of psychopaths; and the deceitful and exploitative nature of Machiavellianism. At their extreme, these traits would be highly detrimental for life in traditional human societies. People with these personalities risk being shunned by others and shut out of relationships, leaving them without a mate, hungry and vulnerable to predators.
But being just slightly evil could have an upside: a prolific sex life, says Peter Jonason at New Mexico State University in Las Cruces. “We have some evidence that the three traits are really the same thing and may represent a successful evolutionary strategy.”
Jonason and his colleagues subjected 200 college students to personality tests designed to rank them for each of the dark triad traits. They also asked about their attitudes to sexual relationships and about their sex lives, including how many partners they’d had and whether they were seeking brief affairs.
What’s more, this tendency holds true across cultures. But, don’t worry nice guys, I’ve read that women tend to prefer nice guys for child rearing and family support purposes.
This always pissed me off in high school. A girl would talking to me about how all the guys she was with were jerks, and asking why she couldn’t find a nice guy. I would then hold her beer while she got up to go chase after another asshole…
HOWEVER, I’m glad it worked out that way. Those girls, while quite attractive at the time, would have been horriable wives today. I’m married to a wonderful woman now, and it may not have worked out that way if nice guys finished first.
So, I guess the other part of that saying could be “Nice guys finish last, but get the better reward”.
I also wonder how lonely those jerks are now, at least on an emotional level. Are they happily married, or are they still going on one-night stands?
It works for same sex relationships as well. I have seen many times where a really nice guy, employed, smart, funny has an A** for a BF or husband. So there is something of the need to be thrilled involved I guess.
Hoosier 1st-I’m still waiting for my wedding band back! Don’t know if you saw it in one of my recent posts about gay marriage, but my wedding band turned up missing on Friday. And if you can steal chuckcentral’s socks I won’t put stealing a wedding band beyond you;-) And now, without that ring, my marriage just isn’t as sacred. Damn you Gays!
I see this in my line of work all the time. I’ve had plenty of weddings on the books in which I’ve met with the bride and groom and thought that the guy was a “six foot walking phallic symbol.” More often then not we’ll get into the premarriage couseling and I’ll end up with a tearful call from the bride-to-be that the wedding is off. I’ve had some of those brides come back a few years later-this time with Mr. Nice Guy.
Jason-I too was “Duckie” in “Pretty in Pink.” (Saw it on a date with one of those girls who shortly thereafter broke up with me for a “bad” guy.) And damn if that movie didn’t tick me off when Molly Ringwald went with the jerk!
And I agree that it is the same with same sex couples. I’ve had friends who have found Mr. or Ms. Nice; and I’ve had friends who cried to me again and again when the jerk/jerkette screwed them over–again.
As Homer pointed out, alcohol can be the cause of and solution to many of life’s problems. Apparently my college love affair with beer (not entirely over, incidentally) turned me into just enough of a jerk in certain respects that I had a bit more luck with the ladies.
Now I’m a reasonably responsible guy with a lovely wife and beautiful children I wouldn’t trade for all of the sordid flings in the world. And, my alcohol consumption is down about 95%. (Let’s do the math here — was about 40 – 50 beers per week; is now about 3 – 4 beers per week. So, down by 90%+).
So, overall it has been win-win; though obviously I retain some latent bitterness from my high school years.
Is it already five on Friday and time to roll out the “canarble wagon?”
BTW Doug, “it’s cause of and solution to ALL of life’s problems.” Yes, I listen to Roe every Friday around five when this is a lead-in.
I had a lab partner in college who was brilliant, driven, great grades, lived in the all-female dorm. I think she thought I was an interesting enough guy, but she had a boyfriend.
For some reason, she and a friend decided to drop by my dorm one evening to say hello. After she ran the gauntlet of hallway frisbee, loud music, and general mess than was our dorm, she found the “chemically enhanced” drunk, talkative, and somewhat obnoxious me. And strangely she liked what she saw. It’s so counterintuitive, because I would have considered myself not really a catch that night, incapacitated as I was. In the end, she and sober I couldn’t make it work out.