So, I coach both of my kids’ soccer teams – head coach for Cole & assistant for Harper. Maybe it’s a cliche, but it really is a very rewarding experience. I’ve seen a lot of these kids come a long way in their skills over the years.
The recreational league we play in ends the season with a year-end tournament. One of the toughest parts of coaching for me is that moment when your team has lost that last tournament game; and the kids recognize that the season is over. None of them likes losing, but honestly what seems to get them the most is that the season is finished. They love the team and they love playing. Seeing those forlorn faces, some misty, some openly crying really makes you feel for those kids. I give them a little speech; compliment them on how hard they worked, remind them what a great season we had, and thank them for the opportunity to coach such a great bunch of kids. And it’s true. But, at the end of the season, after all those games and hours of practice you know exactly how those kids with the hangdog expressions feel.
I’ll enjoy it while I can. Soon enough, they’ll drift off and start to specialize in different sports and hobbies. The ones who stick with soccer will surpass my ability to be a good coach. And I’ll have a wall full of team pictures on my wall.
Good job, Coach! That’s exactly how I feel at graduation or the end of the school year, when I know I won’t see some of them ever again.
Great job, Coach, but your job isn’t finished. As a coach, you are a teacher, too, and these kids need to realize that they have learned something besides learning how to play a team sport, and to have fun. They have just had their first lesson in what it means to have lost something important, which will be just one of many such experiences. That needs to be recognized. You might invite them over for hot dogs, sit down with them and 1) ask them to help you be a better coach and tell you what they have learned and how you need to do a better job (They will be brutally honest!) and 2) tell them that the end of the season is always kind of sad because it’s the end of stuff, but for that reason there are some things they need to remember from that, too. It’s O.K. to feel sad after something great but we all need to be especially thankful for those events because something happened to make us feel special. And. after all, didn’t they feel special? Maybe they could talk about why they felt so special. Now, that’s teaching!
You will always be remembered for that.
“They love the team and they love playing.”
Mission accomplished, Coach. Well done.
Gosh guys it’s not all about winning and losing it about listening to the kids talk about their life. I can’t remember the goals scored, the base hits and home runs and the baskets my kids scored. But as a coach I heard kids tell me “My teacher hates me!”, “My dad cried at my grandma’s funeral”, “My parents are divorced and no one cares about me.”,” coach you should see my cool train set”. It’s about listening and letting them know everything is going to be OK and wow that’s cool. Not hey we are hear to play no talking and focus on the sport. That will come when sports gets more (7th grade on up) competitive.
You got it!
Despite how much I write about the nutbags and other hassles of coaching (see link above — SELF-PROMOTION ALERT), I think for most people the rewards of coaching far outstrip the down side. I’m glad you had a great experience, and I’m even more glad your kids did.