Masson's Blog
The Onion is America’s finest news source:
FOXBOROUGH, MA—As the once-invincible, still-insufferable Patriots attempt to come to grips with their 17-14 Super Bowl loss to the Giants, the death of their dream to go undefeated, and the possible end of their dynasty, almost every other person in America is reveling in what they consider the perfect ending to New England’s season.
. . .
However, most fans gave responses that had little to do with the game itself and more with the almost flawless joy of seeing the Patriots lose, as a team that has been insufferable and unappealing in victory instantly became inconsolable and self-pitying in defeat.
Frequently mentioned examples of instances which, upon reflection, sweetened the Patriots’ utter failure included the team’s propensity to complain about unfair officiating after their victories; their habit of gleefully running up the score, which also resulted in Brady and Moss earning NFL single-season scoring records in blowouts; and of course, the players’ and coaches’ hateful attitude.
“Come on, that cheating scandal to open the season and all they say is ‘Everybody does it?’ They could have at least acted a little bit sorry,” said Milwaukee architect and sports fan David Engel. “They acted like a bunch of third-graders, just the way Belichick did when he ran off the field with time left on the clock. At least he shook the other coach’s hand this time. That’s a first for the big baby.”
The whole thing is well worth a read.
Another of the posters from Charlie Weis Ate My Baby:
I saw that the Hoosier Pundit had this poster up as well under the title “Peyton Fights for FREEDOM.” On most things, I disagree with the Hoosier Pundit. Glad to see we can unite when the stakes are high enough. (Though, I’m waiting for the Hoosier Pundit post insinuating that Baron Hill is actually a Patriots fan.)
Bible Fight: It’s Mortal Kombat, only with Bible characters. I played as Moses, but couldn’t get past Satan.
In a victory for the good old U. S. of A. on the fourth of July, Californian Joey Chestnut knocked off the Lance Armstrong of hot dog eating, Takeru Kobayashi. Still, I can’t help but being a little sad at seeing the long-time champion defeated. CBS Sportsline has an article entitled Chestnut edges Kobayashi; both men smash world record. Kobayashi has won the annual Nathan’s 4th of July hot dog eating competition in Coney Island from 2001 to 2006. My recollection is that the competition has not even been particularly close in the past. Despite recent chiropractic treatment on his jaw and a wisdom tooth extraction, Kobayashi broke the previous record of 60 hot dogs in 12 minutes by eating 63 dogs. Unfortunately for him, the Great American Hope, Joey Chestnut downed 66 of them.
According to Wikipedia, Kobayashi debuted as a rookie on July 4, 2001 and ate 50 hot dogs. The previous record had been 25 1/2. He obliterated the old record so badly that the organizers ran out of number signs for how many dogs had been eaten. They had to use hand-written signs as the competition progressed.
This little nugget from Wikipedia is great on so many levels:
However, on Fox’s 2003 show Man vs. Beast, Kobayashi lost in an eating competition against a 1089-pound Kodiak bear, when he ate 31 bunless hot dogs in 2 minutes and 36 seconds to the bear’s 50.
What is even more remarkable is Kobayashi’s size. Early on, he was eating these volumes of food as a 5’7″ man weighing in at about 110 pounds. In recent years, he’s bulked up to about 165 pounds. However, looking at Joey Chestnut’s records, he is certainly a force to be reckoned with. We may well have a new king on our hands. Perhaps they will be the Larry Byrd – Magic Johnson of competitive eating for the next few years. The world can only wait and see.
Just going from this deposition:
Hoosier attorneys are probably more effective lawyers, but, relatively speaking, I guess we’re a bunch of pansies.
SB 557 Makes knowningly or intentionally participating in “combative fighting” a Class C misdemeanor. The redundancy in the description amuses me. Anyway, the bill defines “combative fighting” as a match with at least two contestants in which the contestants use hands and/or feet to strike each other and compete for a financial prize. (The definition further says that the match can be with or without gloves or with or without headgear, but I figure that part of the definition sort of cancels itself out.) But, then the legislation specifically excludes boxing, ultimate fighting, martial arts, professional wrestling, and a match where fights break out as an unplanned, spontaneous event. The bill makes a further stab at trying to identify what the hell it’s talking about by suggesting that “combative fighting” is synonymous with “toughman fighting” “badman fighting” and “extreme fighting”.
I can’t believe this dog of a bill passed 95 to 1. Believe it or not, it was even more vague as it passed the Senate. I think maybe they’re trying to get at unregulated or semi-regulated sports with some unspecified level of violence that surpasses some arbitrary standard of what’s acceptable. Their goal isn’t a bad one, but it’s incumbent upon lawmakers to articulate that which they seek to prohibit. “I know it when I see it,” just never works out.
[tags]SB557-2007[/tags]
Holy overreaction, Batman! Cartoon promo causes panic. Electronic displays (magnets with lights) of one of the Mooninites from Aqua Teen Hunger Force giving the finger caused Boston officials to panic and shutdown highways, bridges, and a section of the Charles River. Nine other cities managed to notice similar displays without freaking out.
Reading a news report trying to describe Aqua Teen Hunger Force is kind of amusing:
Turner Broadcasting, a division of Time Warner Inc. and parent of Cartoon Network, later said the devices were part of a promotion for the TV show “Aqua Teen Hunger Force,†a surreal series about a talking milkshake, a box of fries and a meatball.
I also like how the words chosen by the story give a fig-leaf of credibility to the Boston reaction. Instead of magnets, they’re “devices.” And, they were “planted” throughout the city. Planting devices sounds so sinister.
For at least the third year in a row, we have a bill designed to keep us free from the scourge of unregistered interior designers. This year it’s Senate Bill 490 authored by Sen. Kruse:
Provides that a person: (1) may not use the title “registered interior designer” or any title designation sign, card, or device indicating the person is a registered interior designer unless the person has a certificate of registration; and (2) is ineligible for registration if the person has a civil judgment for negligence, recklessness, willful misconduct, or another breach of a standard of care in the practice of interior design entered against the person.
Last year, it was HB 1063-2006, where it was authored by Reps. Hinkle, Micon, and Torr and defeated by a vote of 30 to 68, and the year before, it was HB 1434-2005 authored by Reps. Hinkle, Alderman, Dickinson, and Micon. Apparently in 2005, it never got a vote on Third Reading.
I guess if you try long enough, you can get just about anything passed. Heck, even Daylight Saving Time got passed after 30 years of trying (making it now, officially, time to “move on” according to its proponents.) So why not interior designers?
I have absolutely no evidence for this, but my suspicion is that the folks pushing for this are associated with the National Council for Interior Design Qualification and/or the Architectural Registration Exam. A person has to have passed one of their exams in order to “register.”
Which brings me to a minor quibble. The requirement that an interior designer pass an exam makes this look a lot more like a “license” or a “certification” than a registration. Probably a certification. “Registration” tends to just mean having your name written down somewhere and perhaps paying a fee, but the activity is not really restricted otherwise and there are no real limiting qualifications required. “Licensure” tends to mean that a certain activity is restricted unless you meet the qualifications. “Certification” tends to restrict use of a name (in this case, “registered interior designer”) unless one has certain proven qualifications. But, the activity itself is not restricted. In other words, you can still engage in interior design, you just can’t sell yourself as a “registered interior designer.” By contrast, you have to have a law license to practice law and you have to have a medical license to practice medicine.
[tags]SB490-2007, licensure[/tags]