Hoosier Beer Geek: Patriots Week Rules:
1. Any beer you have from Sam Adams must be disposed of in the following manner: pour it down your toilet and flush. Same goes with any beer that is made east of New York.
2. You must boycott any pub/bar/restaurant that maintains New England Clam Chowder on its menu’s this week.
3. You cannot order any food for tailgating from Boston Market.
4. It is acceptable to wear a New York Yankees cap along with your Colts jersey on Sunday.
5. You can only drink beer made in Indiana this week (or at least only from those states that borders ours). Support your local brewers!
6. Boston-baked beans, seafood, and other foods associated with or indiginous to New England are not allowed at tailgating. Tenderloin, corn, soybeans and fried things are strongly encouraged.
7. Every time you drink a beer with a friend this week, you must raise your mugs, clink, and say, “F*CK the Patriots!” If your friend is a Patriots-lover, you must kick her ass and put her in a sleeper hold until she admits that Peyton Manning is the best quarterback in the history of NFL and Tom Brady is on his jock.
8. You must root for Florida State in Saturday’s college football game. They play Boston College.
9. You must root for Columbia in Saturday’s college football game. They play Harvard.
10. If the worst-case scenario happens – Red Sox win World Series (uh-oh), Boston College wins the NCAA national championship, the Patriots win the Super Bowl, and the Celtics win the NBA title – it is expected and required that you participate in our plot with Yankess fans to blow up the entire New England area and cede what’s left of it to Canada.
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