Apropos of nothing at all, I figured I’d mention that Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story is one of the greatest movies of all time.
Patches O’Houlihan: If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
Justin: What?
[Patches throws a wrench and hits Justin in the face]
Justin Bateman has a great role as sports commentator Pepper Brooks on ESPN 8 “The Ocho”.
Cotton McKnight: And the Average Joe’s beat the Germans in a *shocking* upset.
Pepper Brooks: I feel *shocked*.
My favorite line – “ESPN 8 – The OCHO, bringing you the finest in seldom seen sports from around the globe since 1999. If its almost a sport we’ve got it here”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50jVa25gmWs
I would totally watch The Ocho if it were real.
Just thought that I would add my favorite Patches O’Houlihan quote: “And will someone catch a goddamn ball? It’s like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob out there!”
Or –
Peter La Fleur: [after Patches hits Justin in the face with a wrench] Yeah, uh, Patches… are you sure that this is completely necessary?
Patches O’Houlihan: Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine?
Peter La Fleur: Probably not.
Patches O’Houlihan: No, but I do it anyway because it’s sterile and I like the taste.
Peter La Fleur: …Okay.
It’s a little scary that you guys can quote this verbatim, but Dodgeball really is a VERY funny movie. ESPN8/The Ocho is funny just on its face, and the commentators are perfect (like the commentators in “Best in Show” – another classic). “American Dodgeball Association of America” is so silly that I always smile, and I love Ben Stiller’s occasional blank looks. You know you’re on a lucky streak when the movie shows up on cable on a rainy weekend afternoon.
I can’t quote it verbatim (thanks IMDB!) but the scene with Lance Armstrong cracks me up every time.
Lance Armstrong: I think you better hurry up or you’re gonna be late.
Peter La Fleur: Uh, actually I decided to quit.
Lance Armstrong: Quit? You know, once I was thinking of quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I’m sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying of that’s keeping you from the finals?
Peter La Fleur: Right now it feels a little bit like… shame.
Yeah… Dodgeball. Mildly amusing.
But it’s no South Park Movie, where I almost died of asphyxiation the first 20 minutes of the movie.
Where things were said that literally STUNED the audience into silence. TWICE. (you guys can guess what the two things were).
Now THAT’S a movie.