Once again, I’m out of my depth, but after reading Tipsy Teatotaler’s thoughts on the mystery of confession in the Orthodox Church, I got to thinking about the notion of shame. (Note: one isn’t necessarily closely related to the other – the synapses in my brain just fire pretty freely on occasion.)
My thought was to question whether shame is a valuable emotion for the individual. I can definitely see the value in such things as guilt, regret, sorrow, and other emotions which are similar, but a little different. Shame, it seems to me, not only has a component dealing with unhappiness about something one has done wrong; it also has to do with perceiving one’s self as having low self-worth in the eyes of the community or some outside source. In other words, it’s not just (or even primarily?) about judging one’s actions as deficient and feeling bad for that; it’s about believing that the Other judges one’s actions as deficient, attributing weight to the judgment of the Other, and feeling bad accordingly.
So, in a sense, shame is a diminishment of self in favor of others. (Not a libertarian emotion, I guess!) I can see how, as a society, it would be a useful emotion to cultivate in members. But, is it beneficial on a personal level?
Random thoughts for a Wednesday morning.
I’d say that depends on any one person’s opinion of the value of their own societal acceptance.
I suppose the value on a personal level comes if you ever want cooperation or assistance from a society. If you’re completely self-reliant and never need to work with anyone else, I guess you have no need for shame.
However, I have never found someone that could claim that level of self-reliance.
Shame in and of itself is not a redeeming human value. However, perceiving the possibility of shame, then taking steps to avoid it, can be beneficial to all.
My clearest insight into national shame was my visits from early 70s to present to Germany.Til the EU era Germans spent considerable time rehashing Nazi era and ww2,fighting and losing the war over and over.Shame makes a person or a culture introspective.Germans were pariahs to all the contiguous countries for a couple generations after ww2.The Dutch and French who lived through the war hated Germans so much it was beyond discussion.
Accounts from Germans how they were harassed by French customs agents were legendary. Now Germany is the leader of Europe (imo) especially with all the former east block , former communist countries.But also French and Germany get along well. The German and French goverments now seem to criticize the USA in the same way.
Germans since 1945 have been true pacifists from their war experiences.No German soldier is expected to be in combat,only as support.Every surviving ww2 German had personal horror stories with great loss of family just as victims of Germans had their own horror stories caused by Germans.But the Germans got no sympathy.
It’s taken well into 90s for the new generations to look at ww2 as ‘somewhere in history’.There are no longer national borders in Europe so once a person gets into the EU,he’s free to travel in all of Europe. THere wereas still the constant ID checks up to the 1990s era.Germans think of themselves now as Europeans,and it helps to be seen as leaders after so many years of pariahship.
So,intropective caused by shame brought Germany to a positive future.The Marshall plan is another issue,but Germans see that as a great gift from USA .Not so the French. It made the modern era possible.
There’s an interesting stereotype story to point out the difference between Germans and French character by what they do as they sit at cafes.The French watch the passers-by,chat and size-up passers-by..The Germans sit in isolation reading soberly taking notes in their quest for hidden truths. It’s like they expect to go back later and put all the clues together. The Germans seem more communal now and the French haven’t changed very much over the years.
Well, Doug, you weren’t kidding about those synapses firing freely and without apparent relation. Sheesh. For shame!
My mind can be a terrifyingly confusing place.
because the mind is a terrible thing….and it must be stopped, in our lifetime….
Bob Nelson, a stand-up comic from Long Island.