The Onion is America’s finest news source:
FOXBOROUGH, MA—As the once-invincible, still-insufferable Patriots attempt to come to grips with their 17-14 Super Bowl loss to the Giants, the death of their dream to go undefeated, and the possible end of their dynasty, almost every other person in America is reveling in what they consider the perfect ending to New England’s season.
. . .
However, most fans gave responses that had little to do with the game itself and more with the almost flawless joy of seeing the Patriots lose, as a team that has been insufferable and unappealing in victory instantly became inconsolable and self-pitying in defeat.
Frequently mentioned examples of instances which, upon reflection, sweetened the Patriots’ utter failure included the team’s propensity to complain about unfair officiating after their victories; their habit of gleefully running up the score, which also resulted in Brady and Moss earning NFL single-season scoring records in blowouts; and of course, the players’ and coaches’ hateful attitude.
“Come on, that cheating scandal to open the season and all they say is ‘Everybody does it?’ They could have at least acted a little bit sorry,” said Milwaukee architect and sports fan David Engel. “They acted like a bunch of third-graders, just the way Belichick did when he ran off the field with time left on the clock. At least he shook the other coach’s hand this time. That’s a first for the big baby.”
The whole thing is well worth a read.
Wait – I thought the onion was satire.
The onion deviated from their normal schtick and covered the Patriots’ demise as a straight news story, it appears. I guess the way it played out was way more funny and enjoyable for them to try to ham it up for additional laughs.
You can’t make that any funnier, they figured. They’re right.