Apparently there is a National Enquirer report of a John Edwards sex scandal floating around out there. John Cole opines that it’s not registering because plain vanilla affairs just don’t get it done for us anymore. (Reminding me of the Guns & Roses “Mr. Brownstone” lyric, “I used to do a little, then the little wouldn’t do it, then the little got more and more.” — Yeah, I was a Guns & Roses fan, sue me.) Anyway, back to Mr. Cole:

The reason no one is paying attention to the alleged affair and love-child is simple. You guys have made standard affairs boring (I know, I know. You claim to be a Democrat.). No one is claiming Edwards was seen in two wetsuits hanging from the ceiling with a dildo lodged in his rectum. There is no DC madam with a black book involved. No one has transcripts of him instant messaging teen-age congressional pages or crashing their dorms in a drunken stupor. There is no arrest record for soliciting oral sex in an airport bathroom, complete with feisty confrontations with the arresting officer on video tape. There is no religious hypocrisy and gay prostitution and meth-fueled sodomy binge to talk about.

In short, aside from the fact that all there is to the story is an Enquirer report, it is just boring. You all have made standard affairs pedestrian and dull. Even when you use the phrase “love child,” what it boils down to is a guy allegedly sleeping with a woman. Pretty tame stuff, given what the GOP has provided us for the past few years.