Alex Biese, writing for the Asbury Park Press, has an article about the new Jonathan Coulton album “Some Guys.” I’m the kind of middle-aged geek that fits squarely in Coulton’s nerdcore demographic. The new album is somewhat different, “a set of 14 note-perfect renditions of soft rock hits from the 1970s, such as Gilbert O’Sullvan’s “Alone Again (Naturally),” Dan Fogelberg’s “Same Old Lang Syne” and Michael Murphey’s “Wildfire.”” I haven’t listened to it yet and so am not making a recommendation. What prompted me to comment here was Coulton’s description of the push back he got from other guys if he dared to say he liked this soft rock:
“I’m sort of exploring this aspect of my influences,” Coulton said. “But also as it relates to – you know, I’ve always loved this music – so as it relates to me being a kid and feeling shy about that, being afraid to tell people that I liked soft rock, being afraid that someone was going to say I was weak.
“You know, it’s always that thing when you’re a kid where you say you like a band and somebody else says, ‘They suck.’ And it’s even harder when you say ‘Dan Fogelberg’ and they’re like, ‘Dan Fogelberg?!’ Like, ‘What’s wrong with you?’”
Soft rock wasn’t particularly my thing, but back in the days liking computers and science fiction/fantasy novels wasn’t exactly the sort of thing that ensured coolness and acceptance among the rest of the kids at school. The thrust of the article focuses on toxic masculinity as a force that kept a guy like Coulton from being forthright about his appreciation of soft rock. And, that’s appropriate given the zeitgeist at the moment. I was particularly interested in the discussion of “the romantic overtures of a supervillain in “Skullcrusher Mountain,” the frustrated worldview of a software programmer in “Code Monkey” or the sci-fi heartbreak of “The Future Soon.”” They all make hay out of the trope of the frustrated nerd trying to get the girl. I don’t think any of them is advocating toxicity, but in both stories, I’d say the girl is mostly a prop in a way that is maybe problematic. I don’t think this particularly registered to me as an issue prior to the #MeToo movement. For his part, Coulton says:
“You know, it has been pointed out to me several times that characters like those are sort of classic examples of typical awful male behavior. And you know, when I wrote them I don’t think I had the context to really understand them that way. You know, I had to ask myself, ‘Where did those characters come from?’ and the answer is inside my head, but that makes me feel a little weird. How did I know how those characters felt? The answer is, I think, probably, that I have experienced those kinds of feelings on some level and I recognize that they’re wrong, which is why those characters are behaving badly but they also lack a self-awareness. And I think that is the joke of those songs, that they are completely unaware of how monstrous they are. And that has always been a theme that has run through a lot of my work. I don’t know why but it’s there.
“But I sing those songs now at shows and I wonder, ‘This is maybe hitting people in a different way than it did when I first wrote it.’ Or I guess, more to the point, I’m understanding that it’s hitting everybody in very different ways, in a way that I didn’t understand when I first wrote them. I first wrote them and it just meant what it meant to me and I thought it meant the same (thing) to everybody else, but now I realize that some people might be receiving those messages in a different way. I don’t know, it’s been a very interesting time.”
Even beyond the issue of gender relations, I think there is a lesson to be taken that we should take joy where we find it. If you find something you like, be it soft rock, computer games, medieval cosplay, entomology, blogging about state government, whatever — delight in the fact that you have found something that makes your life happier. There are limits, of course. That doesn’t mean have fun at someone else’s expense. But this thing where people avoid what they like because other people will regard it as uncool is tragic. Life is short enough and hard enough without intentionally depriving themselves of joy.
When I coach soccer the first practice we play a game with (I coach U12 11 and 12 year olds) my young adults. I will pick a boy and a girl with cool looking soccer shoes or different looking jersey’s and ask them to give me 5 things they have in common. They laugh and look down and say they can’t think of anything and give no answers or one..Then I start 1.. you both like to look good when you leave the house. 2. Your both in Middle School 3. You both must love soccer and are willing to give my 100 percent during games .I go on and on and stop and say we all have things in common and the things we don’t lets respect our teammate and not laugh at them but listen to them,
Thru the season I will ask what their favorite movie is,what place they want to visit someday, favorite holiday and various other questions so my players get to know each other. I always say any answer is a good answer and if they don’ want to share that’s ok. People think I coach because I love soccer,(I do and my teams always win!) nope I love the interaction between the young adults. NOT KIDS they are slowly putting their toys away and experiencing the young adult world. I am 61 and still get a great feeling seeing the young adults become friends instead of just teammates.
I love that approach. I have coached both my son and daughter’s soccer teams over the past 8 years. We have had some great seasons and some horrible seasons in terms of wins and losses, but have mostly been in the middle of the pack. It’s a rec league, so I’m pretty confident that none of them are going to play professionally. There is other value to be had in playing on a team, competing, and playing the sport. For me, I totally agree with you that the best part of it is seeing the kids grow.
My secret to winning Rec soccer is I fill up a trash bag with around 15 extra balls and bring them to practice. That way my goalie sees over 125 shots on goal a practice, We can usually do that in half a practice.Throw in my defense and it’s hard to score on us. My buddy who does travel was stunned their goalie was only seeing 20 to 25 shots per practice.
As for Coulton I listened to the songs and wow they were good! I try to listen to all music (rap I can’t it’s not in the DNA). Some of the pop music is hard but I know it is a generational thing. A artist shouldn’t have to defend themselves, the work of art stands on it’s on. Van Gogh only sold one painting in his life time. So Coulton should say the hell with everyone I am doing what I want to do. Of course his agent and the record company might have a voice in it but that is the money side of art.
The movie Juliet Naked (a good adult movie) plot has a once famous musician fighting back against (love story to) grown age men on the internet who think his music is God’s gift to the world. It sort of tells the same story as Coulton especially the last scene.The cast : Rose Byrne, Ethan Hawke, Chris O’Dowd, Azhy Robertson, Ayoola Smart for those who want a good movie on a lazy snowy night.
What comes to mind in your post is going to Gencon (ignore the costumes) 95% of the people are there for the games. I have heard many people make fun of it. I have had the pleasure of attending the last two years and it is amazing the different game designer that are at the show. But what is more amazing are the game players,I’ve talked to engineers, lawyers, star buck barristers, people from all walks of life that are playing so many different board games.. I was told by a security guard the biggest problem they have is when closing time comes up they have to almost throw the people out they are so into their games.
http://www.reelviews.net/reelviews/juliet-naked here is the review,, Reelviews is one of the best and oldest movie review sites on the internet, check it out.
Thanks for the review. I’ll have to check out the movie!